7724001726_7c7af9c297I heard this one in a training once …”How can you tell the difference between a neurotic person and a toxic person?”

Answer: “The neurotic person drives themselves crazy and a toxic person drives everyone ELSE crazy.”

Who is toxic in your life?

Toxic people are usually extreme in their behavior. Toxics are usually mad about something or mad at someone most of the time. They misinterpret and can cause chaos. Often these special individuals  feel that they have to be right. In addition, toxics are clueless about their responsibilities in creating frustration and hurt in others.

How to deal?

  1. Know that your frustrations and how badly you feel when you interact with a toxic person is just a taste of what this person feels inside themselves much of the time. The toxic person’s anger, anxiety, and the way they push people away could help you to empathize with them. “Wouldn’t it be terrible to go around feeling like that much of your life?” This empathy, which they lack, could help you to feel less frustrated and mad.
  2. Seize this moment as the perfect opportunity for you to apply gratefulness in your life. Compliment yourself for your abilities to deal with others in a healthier way.
  3. Whenever possible, do not use email and texting as a primary mode of communication with toxic people. It is too easy for them to misinterpret words. In addition, toxic people can send seething and cutting texts and emails.
  4. If it is too late and you have already done this, which is why you are trolling the internet for relief, remember this: From now on, if a toxic person is on a binge and texting or emailing you mean stuff, have someone else read the emails/texts and interpret for you. If possible, delete them all before you read them.
  5. I am not kidding on #4. When really toxic people are on an anger binge, they will lash out. This energy can be absorbed. It is better for you to create a physical barrier to protect you from that energy.  Toxic, remember?
  6. Try to let them know how important it is to you that they feel heard. This is of the utmost importance before trying to get your point across.
  7. Do not get frustrated if you are unable to have your issues accepted by the toxic person. They may not be healthy enough to see another’s point of view. This is a tough part of life. Accept it.
  8. If you find yourself often connected to these kinds of people, you may be attracted to the drama this creates. Not good, Give Away Girl …

Got It Girl Takeaway:

All of us are capable of toxic behavior at times. But when it is presents the majority of the time, it is problematic for everyone involved. Even we therapists sometimes struggle in dealing with people that have severe personality issues. However, we therapists are taught to detach and interpret our responses as telling reflections of what is going on inside the other person. Additionally, your own emotional reactions often reveal much about yourself. Work on learning about yourself through these difficulties. Besides, like I always tell my kids, “Wouldn’t life be so uninteresting if everyone acted the same?”

Picture compliments of Compfight

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