I hear women say they’re sorry all the time. I wonder what they’re so sorry for. Let’s see: crossing your path in the grocery store … when their pen rolls over to their neighbor’s paper in a meeting … when they walk into their boss’s office with a need or question. “I am sorry.” Do any of these sound silly to you? What exactly are we so sorry for?
Saying “I am sorry” all the time:
1. Is a form of negative self-talk.
2. Gives away your power.
3. Tells others that you may have low self-esteem, or at least that you are feeling really bad and guilty.
So why do we do this? Here’s one problem I see. Most women are overly responsible and feel they are at fault for something, even when they are not. Sometimes the something isn’t even a thing! This is surely a societal dynamic where we feel pressured into this less powerful role. It’s not our fault but is very present, even though we are surely unaware of it. The “I am sorry’s” you see all around you are a surefire indicator.
Saying “I’m sorry” unnecessarily needs to stop. Save your apologies for important moments. Or, at least to be more mindful of how much you apologize. Then,
- Be sincere.
- Keep it simple.
- Keep your head up, body language strong and when you are wrong promptly admit it.
- Use your apologies wisely and use empowering words like “I apologize,” or “I regret that decision.”
- Stop apologizing for dumb things, like asking for water. Say “excuse me ” instead.
- Don’t take ownership of problems when they really aren’t your fault.
- Pay attention to powerful people whom you admire. How do they convey regrets?
Now, try to go a whole day without saying “I am sorry.” For some compassionate, smart, caring women, that can be quite a challenge! Let me know how you do.