Have you ever experienced any crushing betrayal or hurt?
If you haven’t had this specific trauma happen with a boyfriend or intimate relationship, you still may have had some sort of emotional injury occur from a parent, co-worker, or friend. It is almost impossible to live in this world and not have someone betray you or hurt you in some very BIG way. It is the human condition.
When this happens, what’s a girl to do? Here are some tips for coping:
- Allow yourself time to grieve and heal. There is no need to get the big girl panties on right away. It is totally okay to drive to the Quikmart, buy some Haagen Dazs and go on a crying jag whilst wearing your jammies’. This can continue for several days.
- Start doing little things every day to take care of yourself. This may mean buying a lovely face cream that you thought was too indulgent; it might mean taking a hot bath. Do whatever you can to send messages of compassion and care to yourself AND your body. That energy is in that body of yours -you feel it, don’t you?
- Focus on the things in your life that you want. Put all that angry energy and hurt into something productive and positive for you. Maybe you do this through your career or through working out at the gym.
- Talk about it with someone. Could be a friend, a therapist, a pastor, a 12 step group. Repeat as needed.
- Stay away from enacting revenge. You can think about exacting revenge and put together an intricate plan. However, don’t actually DO it. No need to participate in harming yourself further.
- Know there is great learning that will come. If you don’t know what it is, you aren’t there yet. For some, turning to your Higher Power for support and guidance can be fruitful and generous in healing. For others, just sitting in quietness and stillness does provide important care for the soul.
You Get It, Girl! Takeaway: You will probably be deeply hurt at some point in your life if you haven’t already been. Please remember that you are resilient and stronger than you know. I have a lump on the end of my heel that I jokingly refer to as “the club”. It is there because when I was a young gymnast, I split my heel open during a performance. When the cast came off, here was this lump. The doctor explained that the bone overgrew when it heeled itself because that’s what bones do. Whenever a bone breaks, the body naturally provides more calcium and strength to the place that was cracked. Thereby, making it much stronger and more durable than it was before.