having hard timeA friend of mine shared on Facebook that she’s having a rough time. She didn’t say what’s going on, just that she’s struggling and feeling bad.

In response, people wrote, “I am praying for you.” And “It’s okay. This time will pass.” Even a super pumped up, “Keep your feet on the ground and your head in the stars!”

I like this idea of my friend sharing the dark stuff. After all, life can be terrible at times. We all have worries and concerns. We deal with challenging situations and difficult transitions. We women have hormones that fluctuate. It can really suck.

Rare is the person who doesn’t have it hard and struggle severely at some point.

Yet, we don’t share the dark stuff, the hard stuff. Instead, we share the happy pictures with our lip gloss that’s on perfectly. We share pics of our family laughing and smiling. Everyone’s having a great time. Perfect pictures connoting a perfect ____?

I get it. We probably don’t want to see Facebook feelings crowded with pictures of each other crying in our bedrooms or yelling at our kids. We are paranoid the nasty people will laugh in glee and fiddle their hands at our misfortune like the Simpsons character Mr. Smithers.

However, this false front of everything being glorious and golden isn’t the whole truth. Life doesn’t work that way.

When we look at wonderful pictures and exclamations of joy, we can feel a false sense of what others have versus how we feel. “I wish I was that happy.” “Bet she never has a hard time.” “She really has it made.” Yet, everybody I know has some dark stuff in their world. Why is that so much harder to share?

Maybe we should start sharing posts like:

I was up at 4 am last night, worried and anxious. It sucks.

or

I feel like my life is like Groundhog Day sometimes. Unload dishwasher, go to work, pick up dry cleaning, “Is this all there is?” “Am I the only one?”

If we put it out there, maybe we would get some relief from feeling so isolated. Maybe we could feel “normalized” from the responses of “ME TOO!” and “Yeah. I feel the same way.”

What would happen if we were more honest about how things really are when they are hard?

Don’t get me wrong, life is full of joy, beauty, glorious moments of fun and loving the little things. I get happy when I  see that stuff too. I just know that we humans ache sometimes, and we need the support, nourishment and reassurance that we are going to be okay when we’re having a hard time … that what we are struggling with is alright, and that it too shall pass. Just hold on a little longer.

Take care,
Cherilynn

Learn more about Stop Giving It Away.

 

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