That’s right. We therapists can sometimes go cra’ cra’ and lose it, just like everybody else.photo-11

Today, in fact, I lost my s^&t with the restaurant behind me. For months they have been thwarting my attempts to leave my garage by blocking it with their delivery trucks. Because of their blockage, I was missing a doctor’s appointment.

So, today, I had had enough. I marched inside the office and let the restaurant manager have it. I yelled and screamed at her and  threw stuff off the tables. Then, I ran out and used my minivan to crash it into the delivery truck, thereby stopping the driver from leaving and teaching him a valuable lesson. Then, I waited patiently while he cursed and yelled at me until the cops came. The police wrote the delivery guy AND the restaurant  a ticket.

Okay. That really isn’t what happened.

That was my fantasy of what I WANTED to do when the truck blocked me from leaving my garage for the 100th! time.  What is true is that I got really frustrated and went into the restaurant to complain.

I angrily asked the manager to do something about the situation. I explained that this was a big problem for me and that it had been occurring 7 days in a row and for months before that. In response, she screamed at me and went nuts…

Not fun.  I told her to not scream and that it was disrespectful. I explained (while she was yelling) that I had not raised my voice and that I expected her to not do the same. She continued yelling at me.

After that I drove like Jason Bourne in the car chase (The Bourne Identity) to the alderman’s office. There, I demanded to speak to the alderman right away. I explained to the alderman that I was so frustrated and  upset that I was crying in the car on the way there. (That’s right. I was so pissed I cried.) I acknowledged  that being blocked from leaving your house wasn’t as stressful as having cancer, but over time it  wears down your stress level. I needed them to respond aggressively to make this situation stop. After all, I deserved the right to leave my house when I wanted to.

(In defense of the drama, I had been dealing with this for months including having them smash into my garage, etc.)

I also explained that I realized crying was not an ideal response to having someone yell at you or getting frustrated. “But…” I told the alderman, “it is like I tell my friends: I wish I were more like Hillary Clinton. But I am NOT! And that is just the way it is!” She and I busted out laughing.  She agreed that she would help address this issue.

Here’s what I learned:

  • Don’t drink coffee on an empty stomach and expect to react in a relaxed fashion to a major annoyance.
  • It is okay to be who you are, and still advocate for yourself. I hate that at times, when I get majorly frustrated, I cry. But, I accept this. That is just who I am. Better to just own who you are and move forward with your own kind of power.
  • Humor is always helpful.

You get it, girl! I am proud that I didn’t yell in response to that disrespectful manager or crash my car into the front of the truck. But, I really, really wanted to….

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