I once worked at a place where the boss would go a little nuts as times. I liked him but at times, he got pretty out of control. He once walked up and down the halls yelling, “You are all a bunch of filthy pigs! Just filthy pigs — all of you!”

I was in my early 20s and I was still filled with idealistic beliefs about people and the world. Those beliefs were so firmly believed that if they could have been tangible, they would have been tucked under my arm like a clutch purse.

wile-e-coyote3

i felt like coyote

You should have seen how mad I got when my boss called us all a bunch of pigs. I was working my a&* off and I was doing a wonderful job. But after his tirades, boing! The stars would come out of my eyes and the steam would come out of my ears. If someone had drawn me in cartoon form, you would have seen the steam and wild swirling stars, like when Roadrunner used to get Coyote bonked on the head.

But my coworker Jane wouldn’t even look up from her work. None of the name calling or yelling ever bugged her. After the pig moment, I asked her how she could just go about her work during all of that. She said simply, “Because I know I am not a pig.” And then she smiled.

Detachment is the process whereby we put up a silent wall that keeps other people’s emotions, energies and behaviors away from our own. We don’t co-mingle the two.
It is a process of disengagement.

For some, detaching from others in a healthy way is easy. For those with codependent challenges, it can be excruciatingly difficult.

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