The Author

Cherilynn M. Veland, MSW, LCSW, has worked for more than 20 years as a psychotherapist, counselor and social worker. Cherilynn owns Solutions at Work, LLC, and for over a decade, maintained a thriving private practice known as Lincoln Park Counseling in Chicago, Illinois.


Cherilynn shares insight during a television segment

Cherilynn devotes her work to helping women empower themselves to speak up, to change what hurts and to make healthier choices, using words, tools and, as she says, “even a little ass kicking.”

Having dealt with a wide variety of mental health issues and life challenges facing battered women and sexual assault victims, Cherilynn has worked with patients in psychiatric hospitals, in outpatient settings and in private practice. She has also provided mental health counseling and substance abuse treatment to people within corporate settings and she’s offered workshops, training seminars and crisis management services to a variety of for-profit and not-for-profit institutions.

“Through my work, I’ve learned that many of the anxieties and complexities within people’s lives relate to their making decisions based on a codependent way of thinking I call detrimental caretaking (DC for short). This behavior leads people to feel anxious, depressed and unhappy—both about themselves and about their relationships—and to experience job difficulties and an endless list of dissatisfactions.”

In May 2015, Cherilynn published her first book (Stop Giving It Away, SheWrites Press), which is a body of insight, knowledge and experience addressing the culture of self-sacrifice in the lives of women.

Through Stop Giving It Away and a range of self-help blogs, book talks and media work, Cherilynn teaches how to turn the tables on those forces that keep people stuck in unsatisfying personal and professional relationships.

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People are complicated; therefore relationships are complicated. Stop Giving It Away reframes the way we think about the decisions we make every day.

>> Purchase Stop Giving It Away at Amazon
>> Purchase Stop Giving It Away at Barnes & Noble



  1. Hi there, I help facilitate a support gp for partner’s of sex addicts. Through my journey, I read Lundy Bancroft’s book “Why Does He Do That?” about manipulative and controlling men. I realized my husband was very abusive, tho, not physically violent. It was a 10 yr journey, I am gratefully divorced, and just found out my older brother was served by his wife divorce papers. She’s over the top, and I am so looking forward to sending him your article on men as victims of spousal abuse. Thanks for what you do and your work and website. Not sure what a DEF score is, but my life is very stressful! I’m looking fwd to sharing your info with “my ladies”. Blessings!

    • Blessings to you too.

      I am so sorry I missed posting this comment as quickly as I would have liked.

      Wow. A 10 year journey. I bet you have learned a lot and have great wisdom to share.I will check out your book recommendation.
      Thank you for sharing the post with your brother. He’s lucky to have a sister who is so supportive.
      And I am excited to read comments from your “ladies”! The more the merrier!
      ps. DEF score means Daily Ease of Functioning. The idea is that most of your decisions should include a quick assessment as to how easy it makes your daily life or how complicated. Here’s the link.

      • Thiiknng like that shows an expert at work

        • Dayanara,
          Thanks! I hope you found it useful. I have learned so much from the thousands of people I have worked with and helped over the years. They have taught me a ton. Glad to pass it on! We are always, always learning from each other. If you watch out for it every day,from everyone you meet, you can enrich your life so much.
          Thank you for taking your precious time to reach out.
          Take care,

    • Hi Lynn,

      I too just finished reading Lundy Bancroft’s book…It was like a kick in the forehead!

      I still find it difficult to comprehend why men do the things they do, even if the book explains it with great clarity.

      • Anne-Marie,
        I am unfamiliar with his work. However, I am so glad you told me about it. So interesting. Sounds like he is doing important work helping victims of battering as well as trying to heal the men who are doing the damage. (I know there are women out there who do this too!)

        Thank you for taking the time to share this.

  2. Hi Ms. Veland: I am a new SWP author. Brooke suggested we contact authors with similar interests. My new book is called Role Reversal: Taking Care of Yourself and Your Aging Parents. It is a combination memoir on my father and his life and it offers comprehensive guidelines to help baby boomers cope with this ultimate role reversal. I am a licensed clinical social worker. I also live in Chicago, near Lakeview. I know we share a clinical background and an interest in working with families. If you are willing to help me out, I could send a chapter or more depending what works best for you. I would need it be March. My pub date is August. Whatever you decide, I wish you continued success with all of your work and endeavors.

    • Hi Iris,
      I would love to talk with you. It sounds like an interesting book. I have many friends and have had clients who are challenged by the aging parent dilemmas. I would be interesting in reading a chapter or more and post a review for folks. I will email you offline to discuss particulars. How wonderful for you. Thanks for writing in.


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