Anxiety Management: What Do You Care!
Love, love, love the song “I Don’t Care(I Love It)” by Icona Pop.
I heard this song for the first time while watching the HBO series Girls. The main character is a 20 something female played by Lena Dunham. This song plays as her character experiences her first cocaine binge.
What I like about the lyrics is the beat, the freedom it conveys, and the part “I smashed my car into a bridge, I let it burn… I don’t care!”
Who has that kind of freedom, really? The freedom to laugh, scream, and sing when something awful happens, like when you smash your own car. Some of us might feel a little anxious after such an incident. Others would feel extremely anxious. What is the difference between these two reactions to stress? How about personalities.
Here is a list of personality traits that are highly linked with anxiety:
- Caring too much about what others think.
- Self-denial of needs.
Let’s break this down:
Perfectionists have unreachable standards, thereby causing themselves anxiety. If Perfectionistic Patty crashed her car, she might feel awful about it, obsess about what she could have done better, beat up on her self, etc. She might feel like a failure. Feeling like a failure in the world will indeed cause significant anxiety.
Caring Too Much-
This means being highly susceptible to criticism. It is okay to feel a little bad about constructive criticism for a short time. However, feeling awful when someone doesn’t agree or approve of you or your behaviors is bad for you. Pleasing Penelope might get incredibly anxious about a project at work because she would HATE it if everybody didn’t love her idea. She works herself up into an ‘insomniacal’ mess just wondering what the responses could be…Same with a stay at home mom who worries about how her kids act and how that reflects on her.
This is a trait where the person is good at ignoring their own needs. Therefore, they don’t get the rest they need; they may not eat well, they don’t turn their attention inwards and they don’t make self care a priority. This shakes the foundation and the cracks are where the anxiety creeps in.
Controllers feel as if they have to control. If you take away their control, they will bite you! Controlling Cassie has to have everything outlined. She has to have her schedule and she has to KNOW what comes next in life. If you F%&^ with Cassie, she will get you. (Some controllers are more martyr like and less obvious with their control, but they are still trying to control too much.)
Give Away Girls(GAG) often fall into one or all of these categories. Therefore, they tend to be more anxious. A good resource to counter act this is The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook,Edmund J. Bourne. I have had many clients say this book was extremely helpful.
Picture courtesy of You Tube.